How Naruto stories go bad
by Nanashi113
Summary: This is a short story depicting everything that an author can do wrong to a FanFiction... And this is my Completely opinionated story about what it is... it is in fact a fanfiction.. written with my worse grammar and story telling abilities.
1. Chapter 1

One day young Naruto was walking down the street, when a very big man walks up to him and yells, "Demon

One day young Naruto was walking down the street, when a very big man walks up to him and yells, "Demon!" the man then precedes to physically assault Naruto until he is almost dead, (we know he's almost dead because he lets out small whimpering sounds… they sound pitiful yet cute in a way…) When suddenly a mysteriously dressed man jumps in front of the knife that was about to slice Naruto's head off… (we know the mysterious person is a man because these people are never female, because females just aren't cool like that.) The black cloaked figure yelled, "Have you no shame?" and then handed the man over to the Anbu, who were watching because that's what they do… they can't actually help anyone that's just not in their job description… "Hi Naruto, my name is Itachi, people think I murdered my clan, but in fact it wasn't me it was Orochimaru in disguise… so I'm actually a good guy with a kind heart… how would you like to become the strongest man in the universe??" "WOW, you're so cool teach me to be strong Itachi-teacher," Naruto exclaimed. (We can't say Itachi-sensei because that would be melding two different languages together, and we all know that that is a grammatical no-no… even though it sounds better, and doesn't look as outstandingly homosexual. Not homosexual as in gay, but homosexual as in the slang for not cool, like everyone in the US says nowadays)

4 years later…

Naruto walks into Konoha, wearing just about anything you can imagine that's cool… Because he's just like that. Naruto no longer has a teacher, because he overtook them in strength and skill within five minutes of training with them… once again because he's just cool like that. All of the girls in the village saw him and instantly approved… even though they knew nothing about him, for all they knew he could be a crazy axe murder, but everyone know hot people can't be mean, it's a fact of nature. In a short 5 minutes Naruto was engaged to every female in Konoha…

Next thing you know, all the guys looked up and saw him standing with golden light all around him (a simple technique that Naruto developed to look cool, but he's the only person who can use it because of his infinite chakra.) another short 5 minutes later he was engaged to all of the males in Konoha, even though he's also male, they don't care. The law can't stop their love… (Same with the extremely polygamous marriages planned for Naruto and the entire village. Nothing can stop love.)

But WAIT, an uber-evil person named Leader appeared with an army of demons behind him/her. (The only reason that Leader managed to not fall in love with our protagonist is because Leader has no definable gender... none that we can say about in this PG rated story.) "The world is mine foolish Lord of Demons!" Leader cried. (Oh yeah, Naruto melded with the Kyubi, making him the new Lord of Demons… But the other attacking demons won't listen to him because that wouldn't leave much left for a story… just a bunch of marriages and a fat man named Tony… but that's another story… well this story but still.)

"This is my village, that attacked me and shunned me and spat on me and rap… I mean was mean to me… even with all of this I still love it because I'm just like that!" Naruto yelled back. Naruto charged ahead of all of the defending Ninja, and used a forbidden technique that kills the user and anyone else he wants… but Naruto can't die because once again he's just cool like that.

5 days later

Naruto has now impregnated every single person in Konoha, with no age, or gender discretions. Because everyone knows that males can also bear children, because of that one guys in the US who was once a girl… and that makes sense.

The End

Now there is a number of things that this story does wrong to make it a good story… first of all, "Young Naruto" is how it begins... That's just stupid. Just don't do it… second..

I'm going to stop counting because there are to many things wrong to count. So the story also begins with Naruto getting beat down… with out any other explanation as to why or how that could happen in a civilized society. That just makes no sense and half the people don't know why he would be beat up because of the Kyubi. "oooooooooo and innocent kid lets attack him for that big giant fox that attacked us 10 years ago… He can't have been innocent because we say so!"

Next, Itachi killed his clan, no matter what you say he did it, that's the fact and unless you actually explain why or how he could have not killed them that is how it's gonna stay.

Next, Itachi may not be actually evil, but unless you explain it in more depth then a 5 second sound bite… it is just bad…. BAD!!

Next item… He instantly becomes super strong. Hmmmm I wish there was some sort of back story there… I guess the author was just too lazy or stupid to write it.

Next, 4 years later?? WHAT THE FUCK?? Who puts that in a story, that's just asking to be euthanized.

Next, he walks in and instantly looks cool? Then he gets engaged almost immediately?? To more than one person… well now, that just seems too _illegal_ to me t to actually work.

Next, Naruto in love with males… need I say more?

Next, no actual name to the main bad guy? That just screams lazy, "Hi I like to write stories with no plot, and I'm to lazy to imagine an actual name to pin on my main bad guys, but people will still love me because that's just what people do…"

RIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTTT!!

Next, Melding? Lord of Demons… that's just too cliché… and it also just tells you that the author is following the story lines of 75 of all the poorly written stories out there.

Next, (Author brackets??) Not funny, not cool, not even average writing level.. that just screams out "I cant write worth a damn!"

Next, Male pregnancy… that is wrong on soooooooo many levels I won't even get into it… it's like licking a toilet seat because you wanted to know the taste… you just don't do it.

Next, Mass pregnancy and an abrupt end to the story… If you don't know how to end a story, ask advise don't just piss out and put an "THE END" sign in the middle of a progressive story… that just tells the world that you have reached a new level of suckitude.

Thank you for reading, my incredibly opinionated story depicting everything you can do wrong in a story..

Oh yeah.. one more thing… Naruto secretly being a female… is too stupid to actually complain about.. it is a waste of time.. it speaks for itself…

Peace!!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Some of the reviews… well I only got three.. so lets talk about them shall we?

There are a lot of stories out there with horrible English style, proficiency and well… lets just say that they read like a German kid speaking Arabic… it just doesn't look, sound, read, or even think like actual literature… it's just that bad…

The reason I put it under Naruto Ino… is because in the story… he marries and falls in love with every single person in the village… and Ino is in there somewhere… and I just felt like it WOOT WOOT…

I too have read the Female Kyubi and Naruto making babies story…

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Well I will leave it at that.. it just sucks.. (My opinion don't sue me)

I have in fact read a couple well written and well played out stories with a female Kyubi… but that story was just BAAAAADDDDDDD!!

Well anyway hope these two chapters have been helpful… so adios… (see that I added a Spanish word and it didn't sound politically incorrect… long story…)

Peace out!!


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